STONED PHILOSOPHY :: TOP TEN LIST // BEST NINJA FIGHT SCENES OF ALL TIME…USUALLY.

Does anyone know a ninja? exactly.. Because they move in silence and anyone that has ever seen one isn’t with us anymore type shit. Fortunately for me, I was raised having a respect & appreciation for my elders, sports, tall women, good music, super hero’s and Ninjas. Whats not to love about wearing all black, carrying a Katana blade, razor sharp ninja throwing stars and leaving in a flash of smoke. After a long debate with my brother while sitting in traffic, I decided to dead the discussion for good. Take a look at my top-ten-list-of- best-Ninja-fight-scene. Perimeters where this: Japanese animation doesn’t count, Kung fu flix won’t count, and neither does anything prior to 1982. (All that shit looks the same after an hour anyway…) I kept it to ninja’s and Samurai’s while trying to stay in the most recent memory of available ninja scenes most people would understand. I hate it when people try to hard to be nostalgic and pull some bull shit from like 1948 and call it the best. STFU. Here are my nominees for best ninja fight scene EVER….usually.

 

10) NINJA TURTLES vs. SHREDDER  // It is in my opinion that there shouldn’t be a top ten list for ninja’s without the Teenage Mutant Ninja turtles in the rankings.. somewhere. I mean they are Teenaged Mutant Ninjas Turtles. Considering every fight scene the Turtles have ever had with the foot clan president Mr. Shredder, The final fight sequence from this most recent movie was beautiful. Shredder looked unreal which added to the action as it played out in front of my eyeballs in 3d imax. whoa!

 

9) SUB ZERO vs. SCORPION // The most popular of ninja battle of all time has spanned not only video games but the silver screen as well. Sub Zero is a Lin Kuei assassin scorned to eradicate his Earth-Realm arch nemesis Scorpion for dominance in the Mortal Kombat universe.  Kevin Tancharoen‘s depiction of this epic battle, takes place in a re-hashed version of an epic ninja fight scene that was used in a series of webisodes intended for the big screen. This has to be one of my favorite fight scenes from the Legacy webisodes launched on the Machinima channel on YouTube. Dope fight for sure. I would burst in to flames to if someone killed my family..

8) THE HUNTED 1995 //One of the most disrespectful fight sequences I can think of comes in the train scene from the movie The Hunted circa 1995. My guy Takeda played by Yoshio Harada, he finally got his hands on a katana blade, and while Showing no fear, turns his back to a clan of ninja’s wrecking shop on a moving train led by some Dope ninja bitch. Watch as he walks from train car to train car whooping ass like a BOSS. The truest definition of ninja warrior without special effects, and too much choreography. There’s no reason for fluff when your on the business end of what that blade do..

7) GHOST FACE TRIO vs. THE BLACK NINJA // I mean.. shit. Everything awesome about the 80’s & ninja’s in the same place has been beautifully kept in tact in this time capsule of an awesomely bad movie Sakura Killers 1987. I feel like this was the bad example the Power Rangers looked to steer clear from but couldn’t. The final battle is fun, and rad to watch. What else can you ask from a low-budget movie whose boss battle takes place under a bridge with choppy wire-work and cheesy lines. I am definitely entertained.

6) DUEL TO THE DEATH // END SCENE a.k.a the boss battle left me standing up applauding in the absurdity of this movies’s fight scene. It has all the ingredients of an official ninja battle with the added nonsense of exploding heads and power moves that include running on the tops of peoples foreheads, and short range flying. I dare you to watch this movie and not clap out loud..

5) SUCKER PUNCH // SAMURAI BATTLE or dream sequence as it seems for this awesome ass visual masterpiece. It will leave slobber on your shirt because you forgot about your other motor skills, while your tripping out on the scale of these big ass ninjas. By the time you realize that all the fight scenes are a sort of dream sequence of sorts for her ability as a stripper… your head will explode. Great video game like action, Awesome, larger than life samurai’s, and it doesn’t hurt that the hero’s name is Baby doll. This fight scene is hands down just beautiful..

4) NINJA // BOSS BATTLE or end sequence by Scott Adkins, was dope for technical reasons. The fight scenes by Scott Adkins are ridiculous and smart and would have to be if your fighting a ninja that looks like a cross between the Dark Knight and the Guyver. I don’t think I’ve seen a ninja carry more weapons than in this movie and still take a blade to the mid section. It looked like the suit was a starting point for another character in this top ten list, Snake Eyes, but i’m not one to gossip you didn’t hear that from me.

3) IRON MONKEY vs. SHAOLIN MONKS // This movie felt right. Any fight scene list wouldn’t be complete without one of the dopest martial artist out there, Donnie Yen. In this movie he plays a Chinese medicine man giving free clinicals to poor people by day and the soft footed, ass kicking, robin hood of a ninja, The Iron Monkey by night. One of my favorite scenes is the scene where the monks from another set just want to pin down the Iron Monkey for people catching fades around the city. A few Shaolin monks disguised as ninjas wanted to catch who they thought was the iron monkey in the act, and ended up catching hands from none other than “that N!&&@” The Iron Monkey himself.

2) NINJA ASSASIN // LAST SEQUENCE is probably the dopest modern ninja fight scene in existence, if you don’t mind the gore. The usual suspects… Dojo is on fire, a million pissed off ninjas throwing everything but magic at yo ass. Your only weapons come from fallen ninjas, and somehow he finds a kusarigama and continues to destroy everything but the air in his lungs,  avenging the clan that tried to kill him. Ninja Assassin starring K-pop star Rain as the shirtless assassin Raizo, is probably the dopest movie visually on this list by far. The opener is rather epic as well. Definitely add this movie to your “seen it” list.

1) SNAKE EYES vs. STORM SHADOW // G.I Joe Retaliation movie harbors one of the most creative fight scenes I’ve ever seen. What better way to display the abilities of Ninjas than to add the element of gravity to their degree of difficulty. In this epic battle between Snake eyes, Jinx and Storm Shadow, that ended up with Storm Shadow in a body bag being tossed thru a glacier, and chased by other angry ninjas for bagging their boss. I was reminded of how dope snake eyes is as the Alpha Ninja in my list of best fight scenes to date.

#stonedphilosophy

 

 

 

 

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